A short lesson on how to drive in Tunisia

1. Drive where ever you want, whenever you want.  Road got 2 lanes?  Feel free to drive down the middle.  Car where you want to go?  Don't worry, it'll move, probably.

2. If the car in front of you is not going fast enough, drive up directly about it, leaving approximately 6 inches between your bumpers, and flash your lights until the car moves.

3. Got a load of watermelons to move?  Want to take a couple of beds to your grandma's house?  No worries, strap them on top of your roof, loosely.

4. At traffic lights:

• Green = go
• Amber = go
• Red = go

5. Mobile phone ringing?  Answer it.  So what if you're doing 90 mph on the motorway whilst carrying out rule number 2?

6. Seat belt?  What's a seat belt?

The above rules apply to all road traffic from the nicest BMW to the oldest, most beat-up Lada and also include large lorries, tractors, horse-drawn carts and camels.  For motorbike or moped drivers, please see the following additional rules:

7. Crash helmets are for wimps.

8. Do not use your mirrors, ever.  In fact, it would probably be wise to remove them.

9. Want to suddenly pull out?  Don't look round, just go.

10. There must be at least 2 people on the motorcycle/moped at all times.  Carrying the following items is not mandatory, but is recommended:

• Large bags of watermelons
• A pane of glass
• 6 large bags of shopping
• A pushchair

For further best-practice rules regarding the riding of motorcycles/mopeds, please visit Ho Chi Minh City, you Tunisian's still have a lot to learn.

Against all odds, I've arrived safely in Tunis in preparation for my flight home tomorrow morning.  Things improved after Monday's post and I've really enjoyed myself, the time in the office not-withstanding!  The hotel here in Tunis is a bit of a letdown.  It's the size of my bathroom at the hotel in Sousse, there are no coffee-making facilities, in fact, there isn't even a glass!  I will somehow endure...

p.s. Reading some of the comments to Monday's post, I got the impression some of you thought I was writing a serious, pity-me post.  I don't do serious, or pity myself.  When bad things happen, I think about how funny it will sound when I tell people.  I'm glass-half full like that!  So don't worry, I was (and am) fine, just wanted to give you all a laugh at my expense.  I will try to have a disaster-ridden journey back home tomorrow so I can give you all another laugh.  And I might even post about crafts next week!

Bonsoiree tout le monde!